My wife and I had our two granddaughters (three and six years old) for a sleepover recently, and boy, did I receive some lessons. Lately I have been burdened by some of the typical worries, doubts and sensitivities that harass adults, they were stealing my joy and sapping my confidence but worse than making me miserable, they were making me miserable to live with.
From, Kids say the darndest things, Art Linklater’s House Party
Art Linklater: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” (to a five year old boy)
Boy: “A bus driver or a pilot”.
Linklater: “Well, suppose you’re a pilot on a big aeroplane and suddenly all four engines stop, what would you say”.
Boy: (Long pause, deep breath, head bows) “ … Our Father which art in heaven”
The simplicity of children! He wasn’t scripted, being cute, or a smart alec; in his world experience the only sensible thing to do in that crisis was pray.
Watching these little ones together, play with strangers, and playing with me, brought to mind the words of Jesus “He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.””
I’m not quite sure exactly what Jesus meant when he said that, but I am clear about what my children’s children taught me.
Don’t take things too literally – a granddad is just a granddad, but if he jumps out from behind a corner he is the funniest and scariest monster you have ever seen and you should run away squealing and laughing. Just play the game, don’t overthink it.
Enjoy things for as long as you can. It doesn’t matter if the pool is too cold, dive and swim and splash till the shivering means you can’t anymore. Why let the fear of being too cold stop the fun? There’s always a way to stop the shivering, that’s what baths are for!
Sometimes people are irritating, and that’s OK. You just need to do something on your own for a bit and then the play can start all over again.
Sharing isn’t having the same thing, it’s having the same fun with all the things together.
A friend is someone who will play with you, that’s it. What they look like, how they think, where they come from, or how long they will stick around, who cares?
And most importantly:
When things are scary, or you are hurt, the fastest cure is to snuggle yourself in to the people you love as hard as you can and let the cuddle do its work.
For children this all comes naturally. Unfortunately, the journey through adulthood layers dark and distorting filters over our “child eyes”. They quash our spontaneity and blind us to wonder. I’ve decided to try and pare mine back, maybe you can too.
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